What I promised when I mentioned Him yesterday .. O, where I’ve seen God the Father in my life.. but I’ll spare you the history.. I’ll instead tell you what I’ve gleaned.. little glimpses, that are real.. that I notice depend mostly on me. If I didn’t look for Him, I wouldn’t know Him..
I’ll start with.. I have tender feelings for Him. More than what I’ve had for any man, more than what I’ve ever had for my father, my brothers, my husband, my children, my friends.. myself. .. even though I have thought less of Him than everyone combined.
Yet, I feel Him.. a testament that He is the Author of my Soul, and that one day I will return to Him.
These were the last stirrings of my heart for Him, just a couple of days ago:
I realized that God the Father loved me, that He knows He created a beautiful daughter with a beautiful little heart.. and that He wants that love. He wants me to love Him, just as I would my own father, my husband’s father, or your father, dearest, if I knew him, with deep love, regard, and respect. At least.. but more.
Sentiments like this don’t happen, usually. I’ve thought deeply about God the Father for about a year, maybe two, beginning with the Our Father. In fact, my thinking of Him was generally limited to the Our Father during the Mass: once I saw a priest life up his eyes throughout the Canon of the Mass & I found myself doing the same thing for the Our Father ever since. (.. I could write a post on this alone). This latest was a great grace, coming from who knows where.. no effort by sinful, stupid me, completely unexpected, just me wondering in the shower (honestly).. and then this came to me.
Maybe a way I can help you know a little by describing Him in the littlest ways I know how (it’s hard):
- He’s not like any male figure you’ve ever known before. Think of the best qualities of any person. This is Him, since the source of all Good comes from Him.
- It follows that He will not react to our missteps and mistakes in any way familiar to us, or, like any other person we know. What stranger, what person unknown to you, would send their only son to save you from being ripped away from everything and everyone you love?
- Nothing you do could every, ever make Him turn away from you in this life. He became fully vested in you when He sent Jesus. This won’t change, as He is immutable.
- He gives you everything you need, in body and soul, temporally & eternally, whether you realize it now or not, whether you’re ready for it or not. Whatever He gives you is sweeter than you could have imagined before, as seen in retrospect. It’s always like this.
- He has given you everything in this world, in love, just as He created the world for His Only Begotten Son. All that is beautiful, all that is good, all that is True that resonates within your soul if you would only listen for it. For this, sometimes we just need to train our eye, train our senses, train our hearts, and through these we can learn more of Him and grow more intimate with Him.
This is all He wants, for us to draw close, and love Him.
It’s so easy, yet so hard. The journey, to Him, though.. whatever we perceive as troublesome & despairing turns into delicates wounds you cannot help but offer Him, if we could but look at Him, and love Him..
God the Father is so good, and worthy of our love. Love Him.. please, my brother, my sister..my love.
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Non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam, 10.09.2020
In nómine Patris, ✠ et Fílii, et Spíritus Sancti. Amen.
If you like, stuff like this can go direct to your email.. May God be glorified, always.