❤️see the Mercedes Chronicles for an Index & more..1
Blessed be the Infinite Wisdom of God & the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary.. and all the graces coming our way today.
I am beginning to change the house.
This morning I pulled the boys’ curtains open & there was a rosemary & ivy candle sitting on the sill. I moved it in the kitchen & lit it. When it didn’t work, I scraped the wax & sat the candle’s glass in hot water to wipe it clean. Vince appeared to nosh before work & I asked him, This was on your sill, are you waiting for someone? He said, No, it just smells nice.
First walking into the kitchen to place the candle for its new home on the island, I was very cognizant of making a move in the house that was new, different than the sad days leading to today.
When new of my mother’s death reached me 5 days after her demise, when we returned home after that frantic rush to leave & get to her & bury her, I spent days paying close attention, perhaps documenting2, where everything in the house was before my life changed forever & I no longer had my mother on this earth. There would be no more attempts to reach her, no more reconciliation on this side, but there would be a bond closer than we had ever had before when she walked this planet. Whether in Purgatory or Heaven, she would be with God, in His care.. and since God is so lovingly with me, she would be somewhere with me, too. I could talk to her like I couldn’t before. She would know my life fully & those of her grandchildren, whom she never saw because of circumstance. She would know my mothering, my messy house, my Hopes, my aspirations, my Love, my prayer. Most of all, she would know how much I loved her, how much I tried.
It’s different with the dog this morning, the day after her little death.
When we knew we would put her to sleep, I thought about taking off my chain with my Miraculous Medal, Our Lord’s Agony, and St. Teresa de Jesus & placing it around Mercedes. But, I immediately knew this would be sacrilegious. She’s my animal, my possession without a soul. I pray over her as I would the protection of my house, my car, my temporal future & those of my husband, children, family, & friends. It’s nice for Life to turn out a certain way while we trod the earth, but other than using it as a cross to carry on our way to heaven in imitation of Our Lord, its layout, planning, occurrence aren’t necessarily for salvation. Life’s means are, and we’ll always have limited control. Would we want control? No, because that’s broaching on the Sovereign Rights of God and it corrupts our perception of Right Order.. we end up pushing God aside, setting ourselves up on a mock throne & become our own god, imagining we can dictate what happens to us. Impossible. So, the dog didn’t get my medals. She would just have to make do with what God ordained for her as my play thing I loved. Whatever He was doing to her & have her go through would be for my benefit, not hers. I needed my holy medals more than her.
All these days, since the first intercessory novena we prayed for ourselves on the dogs’ behalf, we were wildly aware of the potentiality of lines being crossed. We’re praying for the dog. Are we really praying for the dog?
Yes, we’re praying for the dog, but for our sakes, but God’s Holy Will be done. May He do with us as He pleases, including taking our little dog, perhaps our favorite possession from us. We praise God’s Majesty & His placing Adam in command of all the creatures. We praise creation for glorifying Him. We thank Him that Mercedes could glorify Him in life, doing exactly what she was supposed to do as an animal — be our pet subordinate to the entire family. We hope she can continue to glorify God in her little death, to the very end. Lord, may we glorify You in our response. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Amen.🔥
Now, our response to all this is — We prayed for the dog. Did we really just pray for the dog?
Yes, we prayed intercessory prayer on the dog. If we do this for the dog, how much more should we do this for anyone and everyone we love & encounter?
Now, we don’t want to stop.
It’s not enough to pray for what we want.
We must pray for ourselves.
We must continually pray for the salvation of our souls.
We must pray for others as soon as their need makes itself apparent, as soon as we know — both as an aspiration in response to inspiration, but novenas & Mass intentions, too. Be constant, be vigilant, be poised, ever watchful & waiting.
We pray for love of God & love of neighbor — for God’s Will be done around us, for our neighbor’s intentions.
We pray in praise & for thanksgiving, no matter the outcome, but instead for God’s Will be done exactly as He ordained.
Be constant, vigilant, ever watchful & waiting. We want to be ready, especially when life is renewed with the outpouring of fresh grace.
In Morning Prayer this morning, as we sat across from each other, and thought about how Mercedes was our Christmas dog when she came to us, and is not a reminder of the First Week of Advent and our need to detach from things of this world, I made the comment to Hugo, My mother sewed these for me, do you remember?
I was pointing to our wheat-colored silk panels Mom stitched together years and years ago for our bedroom windows.
He said.
Praise God in everything He ordains. He pays such close attention to the detail of our lives. All those years ago, He knew you would say that in thanksgiving for this day, for our life, for our marriage, for our children, for Mercedes & everything He has given us. All those years ago, do you remember your mother’s complaint about her own house? She never had the curtains she wanted. She would point and say Look at my curtains. But for you, she has clothed your house & given you the curtains you love.
Thank God, yes. He knows exactly what He’s doing, every moment of our lives. May we increase our dependence on Him always, that we may remember Him every moment and see His glory behind it, even if they’re the most bittersweet trials of our lives.
Your Glory forever, Lord, even if all I can do is offer my breath & beating heart as witness. Just as the dog did through the stopping of hers.
Blessed be God forever. Amen.
this comes as we travel home after seeing the girls at uni. we’ve made the rounds of grief among our own and laying everything at the Foot of the Cross & God’s Holy Altar. we’ve gone to Mass a total of 4 times and Confession once the last week. And we’re not done. the dog was the dog, that was sent to us at a very particular time in our lives, we realize: we didn’t expect Mercedes’ little death to hit us so hard, we never pampered her, we never told her we loved her until she was moments from death & we were thanking her for glorifying God through serving us, so we search for greater Truth. the creature is but a glimmer of the purity of God’s love, of potentiality, of how we love & how we are lovable, of how much more valuable every soul is over any living creature. Our Father sent His Son as a Priest for us, Christ bled for us, the Holy Spirit helps us understand and know everything beyond this short life. May we always be oriented toward Him in return for everything He gives us, may we be ever thankful, full of love and gratitude as God’s little children. Lord, pour more onto us, we want to know You, Your Ways, & Your Love as we tremble & work out our salvation & for the salvation of souls. Amen.
I haven’t gone back to check if I wrote, took pictures of my Prayer Altar of what it looked like when I found out & went there to pray.. but that is my propensity, it’s somewhere in the past.. who knows when God in His Wisdom will let me pass that way & run into those scripts/photos for me to learn & know something new.