little pool.

🔥

.. my dearest friend..

..’tis nothing important, just some housekeeping & thoughts to clear out before continuing, figuring out what thought I’m to bring here. Long have I wanted to come talk with you beneath the vaulted ceiling. I have to be careful though.. some of these are crypts, endless chambers of death.. we want to stay in the Light where we can admire the architecture, see the stone we trace with our fingers, follow the curved echo of our whispers..

—

Thank you for coming by. My thought processes have changed for sure — and not changed — so, seeing them play out tonight was very interesting.

All day, again, I intended to write because it was a snow day. In the morning, I had vision, a purpose.. and I could see you in it. I wanted to visit here, but the day & my lovely family took me. In the early afternoon, intention was gone, so I sought.. and played from early afternoon into evening. I watched the thought of others wall-paper my mind, and what was me, what I wanted to say this morning, what I mused about before the dawn faded.

Wall-paper.

I reached clarity on this point.

When I was young, indeed did I think alone & grow, letting roots run deep, my thoughts scaled high.. high enough into tall trees I could climb because I was left alone to my own devices.

I worked this angle all this year. First I was pulled away, then I sought the silence away from the bustle. Sorrow finally began to draft the thought —

no one has my thought.

no one can quite understand in one glimpse, in a once-over, fly-over, it’s impossible.

I must sit with myself and craft ideas original to me.

Tonight, you helped me climb a tree.

You walked through my driveway, bounded over stone steps & walked through the back gate where you saw me staring into swaying trees.

You said something to me as we stood there in my backyard trying to examine, from where we stood, what rustled in the branches.

And I began to climb.

.. friendship seeds, clarifies, and defines.

This, I have put to bed on my end.

I haven’t the social media problem others have anymore. I know the ecosystem, too long have I been a part of the landscape. I no longer have to offer any solutions because I’ve already offered mine & done my penance.. the self-flaggelation, done. I am blameless.

Friendship is where you find it, what you make of it.. simple. I’ve no guilt for what God puts in front of me.. done.

So, strangely, I don’t feel the need to gush as I did before.

This is not gushing. This is conveying, this is relating.. there are deeper, more profound things I will develop off-line, this, my friend, is the gist.

Before, most of me was painted here, the thought here the result of a day’s, a moment’s intuition.

Now, the reverse happens. My dearest friend, most inspiration now happens off-line, it’s not birthed, poured out, & bled here in response to Man. I’ve a conveyance of experience, of life & Love.. truly, a Jewel.

Which is why the touchstone of friendship is True.

Liturgy of Life

What I’ve held on to, what is most dear to me is Language.. Love lived, then conveyed.

I’m ready to not speak it all here because it is too priceless. I see this now. I have always known, sensed it.. but now.. the language we seek to describe what we try see, that all belongs in intimate corners, under vaulted ceilings.. where the echoes heard by passersby are obscured by the angles converging over where we stand.. our whispers can even become lively and raised, but they won’t understand.

Like this.

And I can frame and make public what I want, in anyway I want, build what I want, and it’s all a mystery for them to make meaning for themselves. Like haunted poetry. Something’s there, I just can’t tell what. This is freedom.

Meanwhile, there are stories to meaningful stories & life experiences to weave in ways I myself don’t know, I won’t see clear Images until the scene is done. This is inspiration gleaned from deep within.. crystalline & True.

I know who I think for, who I write for. The rest of this, all the world, doesn’t have as much meaning.. it’s still connection & community.. a cafe’.. but the ideas begin with me. Tonight, they become clear in what looked like a tidal pool, a little reflection pool of friendship, so thank you.

You didn’t know I had a pool in my backyard? Neither did I!

Prayers and much love..

❤️

in Love,
your veronica

—

In Spiritu Tuo, ad gloriam Patris. 1.15.2024, Mary, St. Maurus